Context

Context: the circumstances that form the setting for an event, statement, or idea, and in terms of which it can be fully understood and assessed. 
"Revelation, someone's learning something, is what transforms event into story."  -Tracy Kidder in Good Prose: The Art of Nonfiction

Salvage, Salvation, Salve by Jennifer Lunden:
"For a long time, I felt like a victim of my own body. Struck by a debilitating case of chronic fatigue syndrome when I was just twenty, I was forced to resign from my job and eke by on welfare benefits, flat on my back in bed day after day, uncertain if I would ever recover. My journals from that time are a testament of my despair; in them, I wrote the same story over and over again: I am broken. I am broken. I am broken. After many years of this, I realized it was within my power to make another story about what was happening to me. I still don’t know for sure why I got sick. But I believe that what happened—at least, in part—was that my stories got frozen inside my body. As a child, when faced with hardship, I bore up. I behaved like I was fine. I thought that I was fine. It wasn’t until my body broke down that I learned I hadn’t been fine at all..."
(source: https://www.creativenonfiction.org/online-reading/salvage-salvation-salve)


Pieces by Aralia Giron

"It's a wonder how completely comfortable you can feel in a white walled room cluttered with rows of plastic chairs, posters depicting signs of depression, and screaming children. In fact, this is how I spent every Saturday morning for a few months. Therapy is not like the movies. The therapist doesn't bombard you with questions and there aren't comfy chairs to lie on while you recall the painful moments in life you've barely managed to endure. Instead, you are guided into a random room whose only objects of furniture are a long leather couch and a desk for her to sit at. She stares at you intently, a big smile plastered onto her bronze powdered face and waits for you to reveal all that you have been hiding within yourself. You swallow and look at the soles of your vans that are beginning to peel off, play with the tear in your sweater, and chew the inside of your cheek. She nods, her way of encouraging you to speak. Silence. And then you catch your breath, remembering your pending case file and all the emotions that surfaced with it."

What Worked: 

I think both stories were great examples of context because they contained a significant amount of information and the content lives in the particulars of the individuality of the writer, place, and time. Jennifer included a variety of vulnerable emotions/thoughts when revealing to the reader the illness that caused her to seek the comfort of writing. In my story, I too share with the reader a personal experience. 

What didn't work:

I feel like perhaps I failed in terms of allowing my encounter to blossom with specific implications. I feel that there wasn't enough information to make the reader feel like they know where I am going with the story and what the purpose of telling it is because the scene I write is vague in meaning.

Montage Writing

Montage Writing: "...segmented or collage writing...are separated one from the next in asterisks or white space. A montaged essay draws the reader and writer together in an interpretive duet." -Keep It Real Edited by Lee Gutkind

The Butterfly Effect by Jenniffer Lunden
"[Metamorphosis]

It was cold in Maine. Cold. And the snow was heaped in dirty piles on the side of the road. And the sidewalks were icy. And it got dark at 4:30 in the afternoon.

It was the dead of winter, and I wanted out, so I flew to California—to Pacific Grove, aka Butterfly Town, USA, to see the monarchs. It was a journey home, really, though I had never been there.

I grew up in a box-shaped house on a well-manicured lawn in the suburbs of a mid-sized Canadian city in Ontario. Across the road and abutting the river was a patch of city land, untended, wild, a field of tall grasses flecked with milkweed and Queen Anne’s lace. There, I discovered my first monarch caterpillar. I was 9 years old, and I had never seen anything like it. Boldly ringed in concentric stripes—black, yellow and white—it was stretched out on a milkweed leaf, eating. I plucked it off, held it in my hand, touched it with my fingers. Its skin was smooth, leathery. It did not roll up in a ball. It did not seem afraid. Docile. I broke off the milkweed near the top and carried my find home."

(https://www.creativenonfiction.org/online-reading/butterfly-effect)

Aralia Giron

"My daddy just called me, he says he's going to catch the next bus and visit me because he's sorry to have missed my birthday. He told me to wait for him, so I will. It's quite early but I'll hurry and prepare myself for his arrival, it's been a while. The red glow of the digital clock numbers stare back at me. 12:03 p.m. He will be here soon. 

I am seated by the window, waiting for him to park his bike by the gate. I'll run outside and give him a big hug when he does so. I'm so excited! 

He still hasn't arrived but I'm not worried, he did promise me after all. My aunt is complaining to my grandma, honestly, what if the poor man is caught in traffic? He didn't forget did he?

It's getting dark now, my aunt is trying to pry me away from my post. I tell her to let me go because if I go eat now then I won't be able to hug my daddy when he gets here. 

It's time to go to bed now. I pretend I'm not crying when my aunt comes in to check on me. Someday, I tell myself, someday I'll be able to see him more often, someday...

*****

My father just called me, he says he's going to catch the bus and visit me because he couldn't make it to my birthday party. He told me to wait for him, so I will. It's quite early but I'll try to hurry. It's been a while. The bright glow of my cell phone stares back at me. 12:30. I will be there soon.

I find him seated by the window of the starbucks cafe, waiting for me patiently. I'll go through the side entrance and surprise him. I promised him I would come today.  I promised him that this time I wouldn't forget to make time in my busy schedule to see him, even if it meant taking the bus myself.

What worked:

Both stories follow the format of the montage writing technique, separated by blank spaces or asterisks for each new scene introduced. In a way, both pieces are written like snapshots, conveying a different image per mini paragraph that when pieced together, formulate one big story.

What Didn't work:

In the "Butterfly Effect" the author does establish a new scene by incorporating blank space between each paragraph, however, I felt as a reader my understanding was slighted because she strayed a bit from tradition and broke one moment down into sub-scenes.

Point Of View

Point of View: Is important because it dictates what the narrator knows which is essential groundwork for creative nonfiction pieces. Virginia Wolf says, 

We perch on a platform for viewing the past, why not invite a multiplicity of spectators to join us there?" What this means is that by incorporating multiple points of view an author can flesh out the variant perspectives that exist between characters.

Excerpts on POV from Creative Writing Demystified
1st Person: I took Mama home that very day. I couldn't stand to think of her naked and wandering through the halls after shock treatment like the patient I'd seen wandering the halls before the doctors could close the door to their office,
2nd person: You look past the doctors' open office door and see a naked middle aged woman screaming in the hallway. You see she' only wearing her glasses and they're askew from the way she's flailing her arms... You bolt for the waiting room, grab your mother's coat and then her arm.
3rd person (limited): Sally sat in the doctors' office at a small conference table... She rehearsed her departing lines as they spoke about shock treatment having come a long way in the last five years. And then she heard a sudden scream from the hallway. A woman stood outside the office door, completely naked, arms flailing, glasses askew on her face.
3rd person (omniscient): ...Sally could see out into the hallway. The doctors didn't like this arrangement, they didn't feel in control. And for a good reason. Sally was already thinking of her departure. She would get up... and run to her mother, who sat a few yards away in a grey and pink upholstered waiting room chair.
Multiple POV: Sally: I am not staying in this place one more second... I'm afraid they'll do everything in their power to make us feel weak, to make us feel we have to stay here.
Mother: Depression hurts. That's what the ads say. It does... What do they give you in here anyway that makes everything hurt more?

(source: Bender, Sheila. "Point of View." Creative Writing Demystified. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill, 
2011. 168-69. Print.)

You and I by Aralia Giron
1st Person: I crouch beside the weeping mess before me and wrap my arms around her being, in attempt to absorb every shiver that runs through her. She finally gazes up at me, stray strands of her red hair stuck in the gloss on her lips. The black liquid she paints over her lids streams down her pale face, highlighting every tear she sheds. "I promise, I won't go back." She says to me, the final person who hasn't given up on her. I want to believe her but I know better to place my trust in a compulsive liar. 
2nd person: You have just returned from picking your half-sister up from a street corner in the middle of the night in a place she wasn't supposed to be. As soon as you're out of the car, she sits down on the sidewalk and begins to tell you of all she's endured. Wordlessly, you crouch beside her, offering her the only comfort she so desires, an embrace.
3rd person (limited): Aralia kneels beside her weeping half-sister, who has found a place to sit on the curb outside their aunt's house. Ashley beings to explain her reasons for being out in the street again. Aralia watches her closely as she twists her matted, dirty red hair around her index finger, a clear indicator that she is lying. Instead of walking away, Aralia crouches beside her and hugs her.
3rd person (omniscient): Ashley could sense her sister's reluctance as soon as they stepped out of the car, so she sat on the curb knowing very well Aralia would't have a choice but to linger. Aralia was right to feel every bit of reluctance considering her sister's history of disappearing when life became complicated. Ashley did not fare well with problem solving, she needed to distract herself from the problem at hand. Which is why Aralia gravitated toward Ashley in the presence of despair.
Multiple pov: Aralia: I shouldn't keep doing this to myself. I already know that she's leaning on me because no on else will comfort her. She always does this to me, disappears for a while without a word and expects me to pick up the pieces when she's the one who shattered them in the first place. 
Ashley: I can't feel sorry for leaving. None of this was my fault. It's not like I had a choice anyways. My family is just so crazy. They're the problem. They're the reason I'm losing it. My sister looks like she's debating whether she should stay or leave. She won't leave, I can see it in her eyes, she's already forgiven me even if she is trying to convince herself that it's not in her best interests. 

*As you can see, various points of view offer bits of intimate details. Through observations made by a variant perspectives the context becomes more apparent to the reader, feelings are revealed, and the reader is able to gain a better understanding of the thoughts and personality each character possesses.

Writing Persona

Persona: Is the voice created for something or someone very different than the writer. In first person, the voice can be a historical figure, a person in society, an appliance, or an animal. It's worldview can be comparative to that of a teenager, detective, inmate, celebrity so as long as the persona is what the author can't attribute herself. This type of writing develops skills for creating and/or developing character.

How Could A Mother? by Bruce Holland Roger's
"When was it that your daughter—when was it that Josie started to cry? What was your state of mind when you punished her? What were you thinking when she wouldn't stop crying? Did your boyfriend say anything about Josie's crying? What did he say? ...Do you have any thoughts about the question no one can answer? Not the one everyone asks, but the one only a mother who has felt her own hands shake with a rage that is bigger than she is can ask?"

A Time for Change by Aralia Giron
"My smile is a mask slowly chipping away and soon I shall have nothing left to hide behind.
Would it not be a pleasure to realize that I have more rights than you bargained for? 
Yes, 
I am held prisoner, caged by the way of your whim.
And your words are what bind me so,
But,
I care not for these political inclinations or that the world is run by men.
I will continue to shout, "Let me vote."

What Did and Didn't Work:

"How could a mother" is told in the perspective of someone who is in higher authority, the speaker is definitely questioning the mother's actions toward her daughter who was falsely accused for committing some sort of act of debauchery. Rodger's persona is not his own, the perceptions reflected through this piece of prose suggest the speaker is someone who upholds justice either a detective, police officer, or judge. Through the variant questions asked throughout the story, the personality of the characters are revealed. However, the author fails to elaborate through the use of dialogue which is another important aspect in creating a persona. 

In "A Time for Change" I decided to speak in the voice of a historical figure, women before the suffrage. Through my brief but metaphorical details, I reveal the nature of the character being depicted. A woman who is preparing the confidence to rebel against her husband and stand up for the rights she has been deprived of. Although I am able to effectively create a character, her actions are not so far from my own. Instead of putting myself into the perspective of an unfamiliar subject, I decided to write about a topic that I deal with on a daily basis, except on a much lower degree.

Slant

Slant: The perspective in which subject is approached. There are 8 main types and they are as follows- Adrenaline (fear, anger, excitement), Amazement (unusual), Brand New (innovation, cutting edge), Detailed (well canvased), Funny (altered by addition of humor), Newsy (academic/technical), Promise (the reader has a need and the author has a solution), Unexpected (unusual viewpoint).

Sensualiterature by Brian Doyle
"One of the things that we do not talk about when we talk about writing is the sound and scent and sensuality of it, the scratching and hammering and tapping, the pitter of pencils and the scribble and scrawl of pens, the quiet mumble of the electric typewriter like an old pharmacist humming, the infinitesimal skitter of forefingers on keyboards; and the curl and furl of paper, the worn and friendly feeling of pocket-notebooks, the shards and scraps on which we have started essays and stories and poems..." 

Source: https://www.creativenonfiction.org/online-reading/sensualiterature

Orchestra Seeks Young Passionate Prodigy Musicians by Aralia Giron

...CYMO is a Los Angeles Philharmonic premier youth orchestra dedicated to preserving symphonic music for future generations through its young musicians. Therefore, it offers annual events for orchestra members such as public performances at Disneyland and Bridges Hall of Music at Pomona College.

Since its founding in 1989, CYMO has made some groundbreaking accomplishments, including the organization’s 2002 participation in a prestigious National Youth Orchestra Festival in Sarasota, Florida. Along with presenting major symphonic works, CYMO has also collaborated with respected performers from orchestras such as the Los Angeles Philharmonic Orchestra, The Juilliard School and Pacific Symphony. For more information, visit cymo.org or email rjscymo@aol.com."

(Note: This is an excerpt from the claremont courier article that I wrote a while back.)

Why This is a Great Example of Slant:

Brian Doyle

-Sensualiterature is definitely a well canvased piece of prose, the way the author approaches his subject (aspects of writing) in a detailed way, allows the experience he is describing (utilizing the tools of creation)  to resonate with the reader in a vivid, profound manner. 

Aralia Giron

-My submission stands along the lines of the newsy form of slant. Although it is not exactly academic or technical, it an online publication that embodies the immediate media qualifications.

Voice

Voice: In creative nonfiction, it is essential that an author's voice swells and ebbs, it is an imprint of their personality and gives insight to their perceptions. The writer has a distinctive slant on things which are the thoughts and feelings implied through their work.
"The five sense are the writer's special effects..." -Your Life is a Book by Brenda Peterson

Ice Cream by Susanna Kaysen
The floor of the ice cream parlor bothered me. It was black-and-white checkerboard tile...I always felt ichy in the ice cream parlor... A new boy was dishing out cones. We approached him in a phalanx. 'We want ice cream cones.' said one of the nurses.
'Okay,' he said. He had a friendly, pimply face. It took a long time to decide what flavors we wanted. It always did.
'Peppermint stick,' said the Martian's girlfriend.
'It's just called 'peppermint'," said Georgina.
'Peppermint dick."
'Honestly." Georgina was revving up for a complaint...
'You gonna want nuts on these?" the new boy asked. We looked at one another: Should we say it? The nurses held their breath....

Writer by Aralia Giron
I coveted the complexity of her words, the way they unraveled in my mind and transformed themselves into the vivid images they depicted. Every sentence was carefully pieced together, intricate patterns of verses woven together in order to form a craft that was entirely unique to her personality. She peered over the crowd of family members gathered around her and smiled at me. Oh, how little and incompetent I was whereas she possessed the grace and beauty maturity had to offer. Nevertheless, I grinned back and watched her bask in the attention her piece had attracted. One day, I would be where she was standing. Someday, I would become a notable writer.

What worked:
Suanna Kaysen
-The author writes in an informal manner which is relative to her personal recounting. For instance, she chooses specific inappropriate terms and innuendos in the featured dialogue to describe the mentality of her characters.
-Through this narrative we are able to infer considering her diction that she is recounting this moment through the eyes of a younger, immature version of herself.

Aralia Giron
-Through my narrative, which uses metaphors and reveals my emotions throughout the progression of the story, the reader is able to sense my yearning. My wanting to become greater than what my age offered. To measure up to someone whom I looked up to.

What didn't work:
Suanna Kaysen
-The author could have given a bit more insight to her situation and added a clue as to why she decided to recall this specific memory. Although one can say the ice cream was her symbolism of her youth, was there a deeper meaning that held true to this specific moment in times she wanted to recapture?

Aralia Giron
-I feel that as far as my voice is concerned, the maturity of my words are not on the same wavelength as the childlike perception the story originates from.

Soft News

Soft News: This sub-genre within the realm of journalism does more than inform the reader, it evokes reaction and elicits human emotion. It takes a longer time introducing elements through anecdotes, quotations, and description.

Claremont Courier Example:

https://www.claremont-courier.com/mobile/article/t14970-cef

My Attempt:

https://www.claremont-courier.com/mobile/article/t12642-team-jazzy-fundraiser

What Worked:
Sarah Torribio
-Sarah does a wonderful job setting up the context of the article and utilizes a combination of literary devices to capture the reader's attention.
-This article definitely elicits human emotion because it offers the subject's personal back-story to a specific event as well as a bit of background.

Aralia Giron
-My article draws the reader in by developing upon the personal back-story of my subject, in doing so, it does more than inform but rather stirs some sort of emotion.

What Didn't Work:
Sarah Torribio
-This piece of "soft news" doesn't include any shocking statements which is often common in this form of writing

Aralia Giron
-My article fails to shape the occurrences featured into a lead that symbolizes the story as a whole.

Details

Details: The author must depict what is authentic or specific so it resonates with the reader. These details are the groundwork for a specific context and are the little truths that set a three dimensional stage for the story.

Lights by Stuart Dybek
 In summer, waiting for night, we'd pose against the afterglow on corners, watching traffic cruise through the neighborhood. Sometimes, a car would go by without its headlights on and we'd all yell, Lights!
Lights! we'd keep yelling until the beams flashed on. It was usually immediate-the driver honking back thanks, or flinching embarrassed behind the steering wheel, or gunning past, and wed see his red taillights blink on.
But there were times-who knows why?-when drunk or high, stubborn, or simply lost in that glide to somewhere else, the driver just kept driving in the dark, and all down the block we'd hear yelling from doorways and storefronts, front doors, and other corners, voices winking on like fireflies: Lights! Your lights! Hey, lights.

Afterdark by Aralia Giron
We enjoy hiding ourselves beneath the hazy afternoon sky when swirling hues of blood orange and purple line the horizon. We strip ourselves free of the thick cotton sweaters that keep our bodies warm and the heavy devices that heat our pockets. We run in the direction of the falling leaves, our direction swayed by the breath of the wind and out into the darkness that begins to permeate the perimeter of the freshly cut grass. The lights above flicker precariously as if daring us to step into the realm of shadows, we mask our faces head toward the outlines of objects that cannot be seen unless touched. We stumble into the unknown, arms outstretched in front us, laughing at our blindness. The wood chips crunch beneath our exhausted soles and the earth betrays us. We fall onto our backs, feeling pinpricks on our arms and legs as we remove our blindfolds...

What Worked:
Stuart Dybek
-This piece of prose is memorable because specific events unravel themselves through intimate details
-The images symbolize a memorable truth about the characters

Aralia Giron
-Noticing details capture the essence of the experience that act as metaphors for something larger


What Didn't Work:
Stuart Dybek&Aralia Giron
-Although our specific details set up the context of the story and connect the writer and reader, we both fail to make our audience feel like they're in the presence of our subject.

Story

Story: Includes great detail of information in variety of topics or issues and blossoms with implications meaning it lives in its particulars such as the individuality of person, place, and time. A storyteller selects and arranges materials so larger meanings can emerge.

"Revelation, someone's learning something, is what transforms event into story." -Tracy Kidder in Good Prose: The Art of Nonfiction

An Unspoken Hunger by Terry Tempest Williams

"It is an unspoken hunger we deflect with knives-one avocado between us, cut nearly in half, twisted then separated from the large wooden pit. With the green fleshy boats in hand, we slice vertical strips from one end to the other. Vegetable planks. We smother the avocado with salsa, hot chilies at noon in the desert. We look at each other and smile, eating avocados with sharp silver blades, risking the blood of our tongues repeatedly."

Magnets by Aralia Giron

"We are like the defective magnets on our refrigerator-it is evident in our averted gazes that although we can coexist within a certain vicinity, we will repel one another should we come close in proximity. My spoken word is something you hear when our voices are raised and our feelings are tangled. They are so knotted that they fall in clumps when we try to smooth them out. So I stray a bit further from you and tell myself to forget how it felt to be beside you."

What worked:

Terry Tempest Williams
-Why does the Williams use avocados in particular to describe the insatiable hunger between the group? Is it because its a fruit native to Mexico and the author hints that they live in the desert? Is it because it is essential in a healthy diet? Either way, this story "blossoms with implication" and creates a deeper meaning within the frame of the short story guidelines.

Aralia Giron

-By selecting a specific event and comparing it to a object in our household, I am able to describe the tension that has become my relationship with my guardian at a certain point. Although it is not said, it is implied that we had a falling out.

What didn't work:

Terry Tempest Williams

-Although there seems to be a larger meaning within the story, it is a bit obscure of what the author is learning which is essential, that stories are written to understand certain aspects in life.

Aralia Giron
-This particular event did not occur within one day, it is an occurrence that fell into place over time, the implication of this is slighted when I write in such a way that suggests it happened all at once. Also, I do not state what was the reason behind our falling out, I only give my resolve which is relative to a specific point in time.

Dialogue

Dialogue: Dialogue reveals character and the relationship between characters. No two people speak alike and you should try to give your characters a verbal as well as a physical distinctiveness...one of the basic ways of activating your text by showing not telling. (Taken from The Creative Writing Course: http://creative-writing-course.thecraftywriter.com/writing-dialogue/ )

E-mail, Dirty Rotten from I Work At A Public Library by Gina Sheridan
A woman waved me over from the computer she was using.
Woman: Yeah, how do I make it so my dumb ex-boyfriend can't email me?
Me: I can help you with that. Are you signed into your email now?
Woman: I don't have an e-mail yet.
Me: You don't have an e-mail account?
Woman: Nope.
Me: Well, he can't e-mail you then. And if you don't sign up one, you don't have to give him the address.
Woman: That's good. That's how I want it! He's a scoundrel.

Ever the Opportunist by Aralia Giron
We're seated inside a booth at Millie's, getting ready to say what we want to order.
Mom: So, what do you want to eat mom?
Grandma: [touches picture of steak on menu]
Me: You're not supposed to eat heavy.
Grandma: [rolls eyes] Well, I touched it.
Me: [looks at mom]
Mom: And?
Grandma: I touched it, so now I have to eat it.
Me: [laughs] Grandma, it doesn't work like that.
Grandma: Who asked you?
Waiter: Are you ready to order?
Grandma: [leans in toward waiter] Do you have kids?
Waiter: No, but-
Grandma: Good. Don't have any because they'll just get in your way.

What worked:
Gina Sheridan
-The dialogue itself creates a vivid scene and immediately captures the reader's attention.
-The reader is able to relate to the librarian who is caught in a "face palm" worthy conversation.
-The reality that this recreated scene actually occurred, resonates with the reader along with the noteworthy dialogue.

Aralia Giron
-The reconstruction of this particular dialogue is accurate to the way in which it occurred. Each word is true to the sound, diction, and idioms of speech to the persons involved. 
-The featured dialogue paints a picture of each character and gives insight to their personalities.

What didn't work:
Gina Sheridan
-The story leaves the reader wondering what the woman looked like and what her age was, only haven just a small taste of her quirky personality.

Aralia Giron
-This particular scene leaves a lot up to the reader's imagination which can be good in some situations but in this situation it might confuse them.

Character

Character: "The business of a writer, in the end, is human character, human story." -Richard Preston in Story Guide by Jack Hart. 
Characters create this illusion that the people are alive on page which is an essential element in storytelling. 

Feminism by Will Baker
I am walking up a long hill toward our water tank and pond. My daughter Montana, 23 months, has decided to accompany me. It is a very warm day, so she wears only diapers, cowboy boots, and a floral print bonnet. At the outset I offer to carry her but she says, "I walk", and then, "You don't have to hold my hand daddy." This is the longest walk she has taken, without assistance. I see droplets of sweat on the bridge of her nose. Just before the water tank there is a steep pitch and loose gravel on the path, so I offer again to help. She pulls away and says, "You don't have to hold me, daddy." A moment later she slips and falls flat. A pause while she rolls into a sitting position and considers, her mouth bent down. But quickly she scrambles up and slaps at the dirty places on her knees, then looks at me sidelong with a broad grin, See?

Chocolate Shakes by Aralia Giron
I peek up at the old man walking beside, my tiny hand is cupped inside his callused palm. I think to myself, 'I'm so happy he comes all this way to pick me up from school.' 
Sometime during our journey home I become annoyed by his silence and announce,"I have to use the restroom" knowing very well that this means we'll have to take a detour in the opposite direction. He nods and changes course, stopping every once in a while to catch his breath as we head toward the Norms dinner. Why doesn't he try to make me feel better? He's supposed to make me happy, he's supposed to tell me I'm a good writer.
When I return, he's sitting on a bar stool, a chocolate shake in front of him. He sees me and pats the seat beside him. 'I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier.' I point to the drink and ask, 'Why'd you buy me that?' He smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners. 'I bought it for us to share and once you become a writer, I'll buy you your own, okay?' He slides it over to me. I blink away my tears and somehow the bitter taste of my day is washed away by the flavor of chocolate.


What worked:
Will Baker
-Montana is brought to life by subtle descriptions that give insight to her personality and beliefs through her dialogue and actions
-Montana is what moves the story along which essential for characters in this genre
-This recounting is told from a particular point of view correspondent to the time in which it occurred

Aralia Giron
-Through our exchanges with one another, my grandfather's personality is brought to light. His reactions hint at what type of person he is and where he stands in regards to me.

What didn't work:
Will Baker
-The author could have been a bit more present in the story. This would make his daughter stand out more clearly since in the art of characterization the main character is brought to life by actions and responses of others.

Aralia Giron
-I feel that perhaps the reader's understanding of what I am trying to get at in my story (the universal theme of being appreciate of loved ones) is slighted when I jump from scene to scene. I could have possibly added more transitions.

Scenes

Scenes: 

[The] human memory is made up of meaningful data... combine a complete image and emotion... evoke a complex feeling... writers who manipulate memory sets within the reader create an entire world that resonates with the reader's real emotion. -Tom Wolf in Story Craft by Jack Hart.

Ina nutshell, storytelling is spun out in a series of episodes almost like a scene-by-scene construction. It uses sensory context to create a stage where the story can unfold.

What You Learn In College by Karen Donley-Hayes

...the disgruntled wannabe party-goers in the hallway have pennied the door, tiny rounds of copper wedging door against frame... the clink of the bottle, the giggles and wolf calls...You listen to glass scraping against linoleum, the sound melding with the smell of stale beer and sweat and not-quite-clean laundry, the smell of slept-on sheets...

(Excerpt taken from: https://www.creativenonfiction.org/online-reading/what-you-learn-college)


Can it Get Anymore Festive? by Aralia Giron

The streets are bustling with crowds of the Glendora community, it is not a foreign occurrence to see groups of people chain-linked to one another as they slip their way through the jubilant mass. Various octaves of laughter and chatter drown out the rushing traffic of cars down the way but are no match for the blaring sound of the Christmas tracks that I know the lyrics to but don't want to sing. In every direction there are vendors parked out in front of every downtown stores, a line of expensive holiday couture awaiting me. Even more so, I can't resist stopping at every street corner that houses desserts. Who can resist the overpowering scent of freshly churned ice cream, piping hot cinnamon rolls, and the mouth watering thought of glazed gingerbread cookies? I ask myself as I stand in the midst of it all, can this get anymore festive? The answer is yes, yes it can. They just turned on the colorful flickering lights of the Christmas tree.

What Worked:
Karen Donley-Hayes
-Hayes is so descriptive in setting up the scene around her that I can clearly visualize her situation although I haven't the slightest inkling of how tight a cultivated college dorm can be.
-Through this scene, I can experience what the author has gone through. Her detailed encounter allows me to perceive the world as she does in that particular point in time.
-Hayes reveals the setting of the scene bit by bit much like a movie that transitions the scene through a variation of shots.

Aralia Giron
-The scene I described creates the specific atmosphere that can only be experienced through partaking in communal events. By recounting my own personal memory , the reader is able to stand alongside me in the moment and see what I see, hear what I hear, feel what I feel.
-By asking questions throughout my recollection, I am able to maintain the reader's attention and in a way, I feel this makes my article more interactive.

What Didn't Work:
Karen Donley-Hayes
-I feel that if Hayes would have used the "I" POV then the story would have seemed more intimate but since she adressed the reader as "you" I couldn't quite make that connection with her, To me, although I knew this was a personal recounting, I felt detached at one point in a way that made me forget that she was writing about herself. For a moment, the story was just that, a story.

Aralia Giron
-I feel my recounting fails to create a sense of character. Although it pieces together the much needed setting, I fail to include dialogue and outside influences that contributed to my overall experience.
-More so, even though my attempt at scene setting contains the require foundation, there is more than enough room left over to build upon it.

Metaphors

Metaphor: A figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action to which it is not literally applicable.

Tell Tale Heart by Edgar Allen Poe
"...He had the eye of a vulture --a pale blue eye, with a film over it. Whenever it fell upon me, my blood ran cold...the sound increased --and what could I do? It was a low, dull, quick sound --much such a sound as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton..."




A Memory of Mother by Aralia Giron
"I grew up watching my mother through the lens of a kaleidoscope and to this very day she continues to be a mosaic of a woman constructed by what little memories I have of her.
When asked about her, she becomes a bucket of sea glass, vibrant colors thrown together just because it looks aesthetically pleasing. It is only momentarily that her sharp edges are forgotten.
I mostly know her through the words of others, through pictures captured by someone else's light of perception, she is a collage of everyone's opinions and I don't think I have a single thought of who she is that truly belongs to me."

What Worked:
Edgar Allen Poe
-Vividly illustrates what a cataract looks like by comparing it to the "eye of a vulture" and describing it as "a pale blue eye, with film over it"
-Compares the rapid beating of a heart to the sound of a watch "enveloped in cotton" which gives the impression that the heartbeat was a muffled rhythm in his ears.

Aralia Giron
-By comparing the memories of my mother to the distorted images reflected through the lens of a kaleidoscope, this hints that I do not know her as intimately as I should
-By describing my mother as a "collage of everyone's opinions", this implies that my perception of her is filtered

What Didn't Work:
Edgar Allen Poe
-The "sound a clock makes when enveloped in cotton" is a bit confusing in meaning. I can only infer that Poe is using this to describe the muffled sound of his fervent heart thudding precariously in his ears.

Aralia Giron
-When I compare my mother to a "bucket of sea glass, a variation of vibrant colors thrown together just because it's aesthetically pleasing" the reader might not know what I mean by this since it is so obscure. The point that I am trying make is that I often slight who she is because I feel like I have to protect the image of what she should be and not who she really is.

Compression

Compression: A combination of multiple incidents or situations in order to flesh out a narrative which allows the writer to build a compelling three dimensional story. -Lee Gutkind in You Can't Make This Stuff Up

Walden by Henry David Thoreau:

[8]    When first I took up my abode in the woods, that is, began to spend my nights as well as days there, which, by accident, was on Independence Day, or the Fourth of July, 1845, my house was not finished for winter, but was merely a defence against the rain, without plastering or chimney, the walls being of rough, weather-stained boards, with wide chinks, which made it cool at night. The upright white hewn studs and freshly planed door and window casings gave it a clean and airy look, especially in the morning, when its timbers were saturated with dew, so that I fancied that by noon some sweet gum would exude from them. To my imagination it retained throughout the day more or less of this auroral character, reminding me of a certain house on a mountain which I had visited a year before. This was an airy and unplastered cabin, fit to entertain a travelling god, and where a goddess might trail her garments. The winds which passed over my dwelling were such as sweep over the ridges of mountains, bearing the broken strains, or celestial parts only, of terrestrial music. The morning wind forever blows, the poem of creation is uninterrupted; but few are the ears that hear it. Olympus is but the outside of the earth everywhere.


Source Links:
https://www.creativenonfiction.org/online-reading/whats-story-2425
http://thoreau.eserver.org/walden02.html

Halcyon by Aralia Giron

As I recall the halcyon days of my youth when all was nimble and free, I remember the bittersweet taste of my childhood. Such were the days that passed in imaginative increments, time was nonexistent to my childlike mind. There was no need to know the difference between day and night, I set my own schedule. 

In the duration of this particular stage of life, I spent a majority of my afternoons in the comfort of the swaying trees. I particularly enjoyed days when the wind was a loving caress on my skin and the skies were marred with swirling shades of color much like the marbles I would collect. There wasn't a more perfect time to innovative.  I would return to my bed with the faint mark of the sun's kiss on my face.

What worked: 
(Henry David Thoreau) 
-This piece explains a moment in time that is actually an accumulation of the two years spent on Walden Pond.
-The author doesn't need to recreate dialogue and sets up the scene of his memory in a vivid manner
-The story is three dimensional and allows the reader to see the author' perspective through his use of simile, metaphor, personification.
(Aralia Giron)
-Creates a 3 dimensional story by using personification and metaphors
-Recalls various past memories and ties them all together to form one story

What didn't work:
(Thoreau)
-Switches between past and present tenses which slights reader's understanding
-Could use smoother transitions

(Giron)
-Doesn't write memory in the voice of younger self
-The story can be more specific
-Fails to focus on a certain setting