Voice

Voice: In creative nonfiction, it is essential that an author's voice swells and ebbs, it is an imprint of their personality and gives insight to their perceptions. The writer has a distinctive slant on things which are the thoughts and feelings implied through their work.
"The five sense are the writer's special effects..." -Your Life is a Book by Brenda Peterson

Ice Cream by Susanna Kaysen
The floor of the ice cream parlor bothered me. It was black-and-white checkerboard tile...I always felt ichy in the ice cream parlor... A new boy was dishing out cones. We approached him in a phalanx. 'We want ice cream cones.' said one of the nurses.
'Okay,' he said. He had a friendly, pimply face. It took a long time to decide what flavors we wanted. It always did.
'Peppermint stick,' said the Martian's girlfriend.
'It's just called 'peppermint'," said Georgina.
'Peppermint dick."
'Honestly." Georgina was revving up for a complaint...
'You gonna want nuts on these?" the new boy asked. We looked at one another: Should we say it? The nurses held their breath....

Writer by Aralia Giron
I coveted the complexity of her words, the way they unraveled in my mind and transformed themselves into the vivid images they depicted. Every sentence was carefully pieced together, intricate patterns of verses woven together in order to form a craft that was entirely unique to her personality. She peered over the crowd of family members gathered around her and smiled at me. Oh, how little and incompetent I was whereas she possessed the grace and beauty maturity had to offer. Nevertheless, I grinned back and watched her bask in the attention her piece had attracted. One day, I would be where she was standing. Someday, I would become a notable writer.

What worked:
Suanna Kaysen
-The author writes in an informal manner which is relative to her personal recounting. For instance, she chooses specific inappropriate terms and innuendos in the featured dialogue to describe the mentality of her characters.
-Through this narrative we are able to infer considering her diction that she is recounting this moment through the eyes of a younger, immature version of herself.

Aralia Giron
-Through my narrative, which uses metaphors and reveals my emotions throughout the progression of the story, the reader is able to sense my yearning. My wanting to become greater than what my age offered. To measure up to someone whom I looked up to.

What didn't work:
Suanna Kaysen
-The author could have given a bit more insight to her situation and added a clue as to why she decided to recall this specific memory. Although one can say the ice cream was her symbolism of her youth, was there a deeper meaning that held true to this specific moment in times she wanted to recapture?

Aralia Giron
-I feel that as far as my voice is concerned, the maturity of my words are not on the same wavelength as the childlike perception the story originates from.