Walden by Henry David Thoreau:
[8] When first I took up my abode in the woods, that is, began to spend my nights as well as days there, which, by accident, was on Independence Day, or the Fourth of July, 1845, my house was not finished for winter, but was merely a defence against the rain, without plastering or chimney, the walls being of rough, weather-stained boards, with wide chinks, which made it cool at night. The upright white hewn studs and freshly planed door and window casings gave it a clean and airy look, especially in the morning, when its timbers were saturated with dew, so that I fancied that by noon some sweet gum would exude from them. To my imagination it retained throughout the day more or less of this auroral character, reminding me of a certain house on a mountain which I had visited a year before. This was an airy and unplastered cabin, fit to entertain a travelling god, and where a goddess might trail her garments. The winds which passed over my dwelling were such as sweep over the ridges of mountains, bearing the broken strains, or celestial parts only, of terrestrial music. The morning wind forever blows, the poem of creation is uninterrupted; but few are the ears that hear it. Olympus is but the outside of the earth everywhere.
Source Links:
https://www.creativenonfiction.org/online-reading/whats-story-2425
http://thoreau.eserver.org/walden02.html
Halcyon by Aralia Giron
What worked:
(Henry David Thoreau)
-This piece explains a moment in time that is actually an accumulation of the two years spent on Walden Pond.
-The author doesn't need to recreate dialogue and sets up the scene of his memory in a vivid manner
-The story is three dimensional and allows the reader to see the author' perspective through his use of simile, metaphor, personification.
(Aralia Giron)
-Creates a 3 dimensional story by using personification and metaphors
-Recalls various past memories and ties them all together to form one story
What didn't work:
(Thoreau)
-Switches between past and present tenses which slights reader's understanding
-Could use smoother transitions
(Giron)
-Doesn't write memory in the voice of younger self
-The story can be more specific
-Fails to focus on a certain setting
[8] When first I took up my abode in the woods, that is, began to spend my nights as well as days there, which, by accident, was on Independence Day, or the Fourth of July, 1845, my house was not finished for winter, but was merely a defence against the rain, without plastering or chimney, the walls being of rough, weather-stained boards, with wide chinks, which made it cool at night. The upright white hewn studs and freshly planed door and window casings gave it a clean and airy look, especially in the morning, when its timbers were saturated with dew, so that I fancied that by noon some sweet gum would exude from them. To my imagination it retained throughout the day more or less of this auroral character, reminding me of a certain house on a mountain which I had visited a year before. This was an airy and unplastered cabin, fit to entertain a travelling god, and where a goddess might trail her garments. The winds which passed over my dwelling were such as sweep over the ridges of mountains, bearing the broken strains, or celestial parts only, of terrestrial music. The morning wind forever blows, the poem of creation is uninterrupted; but few are the ears that hear it. Olympus is but the outside of the earth everywhere.
Source Links:
https://www.creativenonfiction.org/online-reading/whats-story-2425
http://thoreau.eserver.org/walden02.html
Halcyon by Aralia Giron
As I recall the halcyon days of my youth when all was nimble and free, I remember the bittersweet taste of my childhood. Such were the days that passed in imaginative increments, time was nonexistent to my childlike mind. There was no need to know the difference between day and night, I set my own schedule.
In the duration of this particular stage of life, I spent a majority of my afternoons in the comfort of the swaying trees. I particularly enjoyed days when the wind was a loving caress on my skin and the skies were marred with swirling shades of color much like the marbles I would collect. There wasn't a more perfect time to innovative. I would return to my bed with the faint mark of the sun's kiss on my face.
What worked:
(Henry David Thoreau)
-This piece explains a moment in time that is actually an accumulation of the two years spent on Walden Pond.
-The author doesn't need to recreate dialogue and sets up the scene of his memory in a vivid manner
-The story is three dimensional and allows the reader to see the author' perspective through his use of simile, metaphor, personification.
(Aralia Giron)
-Creates a 3 dimensional story by using personification and metaphors
-Recalls various past memories and ties them all together to form one story
What didn't work:
(Thoreau)
-Switches between past and present tenses which slights reader's understanding
-Could use smoother transitions
(Giron)
-Doesn't write memory in the voice of younger self
-The story can be more specific
-Fails to focus on a certain setting
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