Dialogue

Dialogue: Dialogue reveals character and the relationship between characters. No two people speak alike and you should try to give your characters a verbal as well as a physical distinctiveness...one of the basic ways of activating your text by showing not telling. (Taken from The Creative Writing Course: http://creative-writing-course.thecraftywriter.com/writing-dialogue/ )

E-mail, Dirty Rotten from I Work At A Public Library by Gina Sheridan
A woman waved me over from the computer she was using.
Woman: Yeah, how do I make it so my dumb ex-boyfriend can't email me?
Me: I can help you with that. Are you signed into your email now?
Woman: I don't have an e-mail yet.
Me: You don't have an e-mail account?
Woman: Nope.
Me: Well, he can't e-mail you then. And if you don't sign up one, you don't have to give him the address.
Woman: That's good. That's how I want it! He's a scoundrel.

Ever the Opportunist by Aralia Giron
We're seated inside a booth at Millie's, getting ready to say what we want to order.
Mom: So, what do you want to eat mom?
Grandma: [touches picture of steak on menu]
Me: You're not supposed to eat heavy.
Grandma: [rolls eyes] Well, I touched it.
Me: [looks at mom]
Mom: And?
Grandma: I touched it, so now I have to eat it.
Me: [laughs] Grandma, it doesn't work like that.
Grandma: Who asked you?
Waiter: Are you ready to order?
Grandma: [leans in toward waiter] Do you have kids?
Waiter: No, but-
Grandma: Good. Don't have any because they'll just get in your way.

What worked:
Gina Sheridan
-The dialogue itself creates a vivid scene and immediately captures the reader's attention.
-The reader is able to relate to the librarian who is caught in a "face palm" worthy conversation.
-The reality that this recreated scene actually occurred, resonates with the reader along with the noteworthy dialogue.

Aralia Giron
-The reconstruction of this particular dialogue is accurate to the way in which it occurred. Each word is true to the sound, diction, and idioms of speech to the persons involved. 
-The featured dialogue paints a picture of each character and gives insight to their personalities.

What didn't work:
Gina Sheridan
-The story leaves the reader wondering what the woman looked like and what her age was, only haven just a small taste of her quirky personality.

Aralia Giron
-This particular scene leaves a lot up to the reader's imagination which can be good in some situations but in this situation it might confuse them.